The first step to happiness

The first step to becoming happy is to understand that we can become happy and that we deserve it, not just individually but as a race.

There are two kinds of people in the world, those that understand this concept, which usually means anyone brought up in a loving family and those that don't. There is a term for people that don't, self hatred. And if you think about it.....  it makes sense, for how else can you not believe you deserve happiness other than to hate yourself.

Self Hatred is the biggest obstacle in being happy

Self hatred is probably the most miserable place I can imagine, and it is the reason that people do really bad things. It is like a prison, and until you realize it is there there is no way out. It is dark and oppressive and it doesn't really seem to matter what you do. In this place people go a little mad and do bad things either because they don't care or because they are looking for a way out, desperately.

I think everyone understands at least subconsciously that we are all equal, so for someone to hurt another they are saying that it is OK for them to be hurt this way as well and indeed this is often the reason for self hatred, that as children they have been hurt in some way so they learn it is OK.

I never used to be aware this kind of person existed and I never used to understand why people hurt each other. But imagining how miserable it would be to be trapped hating myself I was able to understand.

So there are people that hate themselves and there are people who don't. Luckily most people don't, most people are brought up in loving families and believe they deserve happiness, at least in the west, our culture tells us to bring up kids this way.

How do people deal with self hatred?

• Reflect on their own potential, we all have the potential to be happy and worthy people. 
• Helping others will also help, since then you affirming your own worth.
• Forgiving yourself, understanding how the pattern of self hatred goes and forgiving those that put you where you are.

Other than the people who hate themselves being destructive and hurting others there is perhaps a bigger issue here to do with happiness, because this kind of deep belief is learned really early on in life these two kinds of people have never experienced the other side, and most don't understand the other side at all. This lack of understanding creates a lot of conflict as people who hate themselves lash out and people who believe they deserve happiness defend themselves against the perceived threat. It creates a nasty cycle that doesn't do anyone any good! I believe this is one of the main causes of conflict in the world.